COVID 19, an extremity of another virus bought into the world by the hand of whoever gets the finger pointed at it. It brings our worlds to a halt to save populations from a natural selection of death if you touch it, especially if your elderly or inflicted by an illness like heart disease, diabetes, or cancer (some of the common). COVID has changed us Kiwi's in many ways. The way we socialise, how we shop, how we work, and how we grieve. Our Tikanga has really taken another test of time again, of not being able to practice our cultural processes to uphold our guiding principles (kawa). It seems to get chipped away at every century, after every decade, and within an afternoon.
If you've lost a loved one, how hard has it been not being able to travel to whānau. Into their bubble to be able to physically hold and console them, as they weep the passing of a loved one. Not being able to take the time to Tangi together, to grieve together. But we can say at least we had Zoom or Facebook to go live. It will never be the same. Three days before my Aunty (Mums sister) passed away, I made a video of my older sisters and I singing for her. My cousins played it a few times for her as she loved it. So video messenger allowed us to see our lovely Aunty one more time.
Through the days and lives of COVID, people's emotions became heightened from the worries and woes - whether it was about money, health, relationships or just plain alcohol talking. I knew two young Māori boys who were dads, husbands, one in the South Island, and one in the North that took their lives. I feel for the whanau, and I wonder why they felt they had no other choice. There are lasting psychological effects that will be everlasting and enduring on generations after all of this.
Trying to see light out of a world pandemic, I narrow my focus to my little corner of the world. Lockdown bought my dream come true, to be a stay home Mum. I was able to work from home, help my daughter while she is schooled by Google Classroom, and be in the comforts of our home. Well, let me tell you, it wasn't how I envisaged being a stay home Mum - running up and down the stairs from my office to my daughter's learning space in her room. Making several meals every day of the week and doing housework when I should be focusing on work or study. Honestly, I felt like nothing was getting done even though I had all this time on my hands. I miss my office, going to my lectures at Massey, and interacting with like-minded people. How terrible for me to come to the conclusion that given the chance to fulfill a life long dream, I want the best of both worlds. I am nowhere like my Mum, or tipuna who worked the household like a charm, worked the farm, lived off the land, and looked after the community with whatever needed to be done.
I will be forever grateful for what I have and the ability to have the freedom to be at home with my girl. So reflecting over this time, my heart goes out to those who have lost and are grieving, and those that are afraid and worried for the future.
Rangiwhiua Ngatai
Maniapoto
Diploma in Science and Technology
Part-time, distance student
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